Archive for April, 2010

empty chairs

April 30th, 2010

Since my brother’s death a few months ago, I’ve been noticing the image of empty chairs more and more.  Empty chairs at the dinner table, empty chairs at my meetings, empty chairs in my groups.  Sometimes they are temporarily vacant and other times it’s a permanent absence, but either way, it’s change.  The song Everything Must Change points out that change is inevitable but it’s not always easy. Sometimes we choose to initiate change and sometimes it’s forced upon us.  Either way it shifts the balance of our lives all the time, and it’s an opportunity and a challenge to navigate the shifting waters and learn to be with the change rather than resist it.  As Eastern philosophy tells us, What we resist, persists.

Making peace with change in our lives while processing the impact on us will help transitions go by more gracefully and effortlessly.

lessons from tiger

April 10th, 2010

It seems that the media continues to have a frenzy around the life of Tiger Woods and his family which not only seems to be incredibly disrespectful of their privacy but counterproductive to his recovery.  Whether or not he learns from his mistakes is besides the point, but whether or not America learns from recent celebrity examples remains to be seen.

What are the lessons to be learned?  First off, the main point is that it really isn’t about the sex.  Yes–the sexual choices were in exceptionally poor judgment, but it’s really not about the sex. It’s about a man (or millions of people who become sexually compulsive) dealing with their emptiness and looking for contact in all the wrong places.  It’s about a lifetime of dormant broken-heartedness manifesting in these self-destructive ways on the world stage.

If one lesson can be taken from this international display of pain, I hope it will be compassion for one another.  Whether this comes in small ways or larger ways, it’s an opportunity for knowledge and growth that can only come from such a public display of narcissism and woundedness.