Archive for December, 2010

asking for help

December 11th, 2010

I drove my friend to the doctor this morning the day after he had an outpatient surgery.  My friend has been quite sick on and off for the past few years, and he’s been my role model in so many ways for quite some time.  We happen to be in the same profession; we are both from New Jersey; we were raised Jewish; and we’ve both been in 12step programs for a long time.  There’s something comforting about having a friend who is so much the mirror and yet we are distinct individuals which keeps our relationship rather lively.

During his illness which waxes and wanes, he has been asking for help in ways that are admirable.  If he doesn’t want to be alone after a surgery, he invites a friend to stay with him.  If he needs a ride to the doctor, he asks.  If he is in need of someone to change a bandage, he also looks for this assistance.  In today’s world it’s not always easy to find family of choice to do such things, but he asks and he receives.  It seems so simple and yet it’s really an art.  The art of intimacy…the art of vulnerability.