Archive for September, 2011

saying goodbye

September 9th, 2011

Last Sunday we gathered for a memorial to remember my mother and brother who both died recently. Family and friends came together to honor their memories in very distinct and lovely ways. I had never organized a memorial, but with some family input, we came up with the food, the music, the poetry and the prayers that seemed most fitting. We also had plenty of time for spontaneous sharing of memories as well as eulogies that people had written out. What struck me the most was the diversity of lenses on these two formative people in my life. The stories that I never heard. The archived photos I had never seen. The private memories that were made public at our shared gathering.

The day before the memorial my back went out. Stress? Moving too fast? Carrying too much weight? Or all the above? It actually forced me to slow down, to ask for help and not to try and do it all as I tend to do. This is my lesson once again. Letting go of the control. Letting go of the perfection. Moving slower and knowing how and when to ask for help.

It was a day I’ll never forget for many reasons, and I do encourage you to make room for some type of ritual when death inevitably touches your life. It’s truly part of the healing…