Archive for September, 2013


September 28th, 2013

I used to think I had really good boundaries, but in the past few years I’ve learned otherwise.  It’s not that they were awful, but they tended to be too rigid at times and too flexible at times, and now I’m working more and more toward “healthier”, cleaner boundaries.

Last weekend I was privileged once again to co-facilitate a weekend intensive workshop up at the Bridge to Recovery in Santa Barbara and the whole weekend was devoted to Personal Boundaries.  We had a full house with 10 people in attendance mostly in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.  It just goes to show you that it’s never too late to have a more satisfying relationship with boundaries in our lives.  One of the key points of the weekend is that boundaries begin with identity–knowing who we are, what we want and desire and being able to stay grounded with what means the most to us.

The Bridge to Recovery continues to be a wonderful diversion from my private practice as the workshops continue to develop and unfold, and I invite all of you to check out their website at for more detailed information about their programs and their history.


day of atonement

September 12th, 2013

In the Jewish religion, tomorrow night marks the beginning of Yom Kippur — the Day of  Atonement.  As a child, my father and I went to synagogue together and fasted for 24 hours as part of the tradition suggests.  Regardless of the meaning of the holiday, it was a time for my father and I to be together which I generally enjoyed as I savored the chance to be with him.  I was interested in the meaning of the holiday and understood that it was a time to reflect (and atone for my sins) while looking forward to hopefully being written into the “book of life”.  Atoning for my transgressions always meant that I had the opportunity to start with a  clean slate and ensure that my side of the street was clean.  As a result, this always felt rather purifying to me.  Today I know through the 12 steps that this process is available to all of us everyday if we choose to integrate the 10th step into our lives.  As the Jewish New Year begins, I wish all of you a very sweet and healthy year.