Archive for December, 2017

braving the wilderness

December 29th, 2017

Once again, Brene Brown has hit it out of the ballpark with her latest book, “Braving the Wilderness”. Based on her extensive research, she shares her empirical perspective on universal truths–this time focusing on “belonging”. She asks the challenging question of all of us, what is “True Belonging”? She answers, ” True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

Instead of looking through the lens of fitting in, Brene Brown recalibrates the definition of true belonging and makes room for the possibility of being part of a larger purpose as well as covering the ground that you stand on. This balance gets talked about at length and challenges the reader to examine when you brave the wilderness and when you play it safe in order to blend in.

She also takes a look at the correlation between loneliness and shame, what she calls the “inextricable human connection” we’re biologically wired to thrive, and how love, belonging, joy and gratitude can be infused into this awareness and ongoing conversation.

I encourage you to savor the latest Brene Brown has to offer us. It’s definitely a holiday treat.


December 10th, 2017

I’ve been part of a “group therapy book club” for the past seven years, and I’ve made a decision to leave this professional family for new adventures. As part of group therapy, we’re always looking at the group dynamic and the group process at all times. With this particular group of colleagues, we’ve been explorers of group therapy literature as we’ve applied these works to our groups, our book club and to ourselves. Very rich and rewarding to say the least. We’ve had members come and go, members have babies, and tragically, two members leave us through death. The club has been full of poignant hellos and goodbyes.

Now I’m moving into uncharted territory, as I move forward with a book project that has been incubating for about this same time frame–seven years more or less. Because I want to put my absolute best foot forward with the book, I’ve decided to clear my calendar from any extraneous commitments and focus primarily on the book entitled, “It’s Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction”. So this is one of those moments when I’m choosing to leave a very familiar place and step into a very unfamiliar place. Both scary and exciting.

The gratitude I hold for my book club is enormous as the group held my growing edge for all this time, and I was able to internalize the love and genuine care my friends showed me throughout this time. In contrast to death, I get to continue these relationships in a different way. Not in the usual space, but instead, both in my heart and possibly in our ongoing crossing of paths. Departures are always bittersweet, but suiting up and showing up for this goodbye gave me the opportunity to give and receive the trust and respect we’ve established. May our paths cross again in new and different ways.