soul-searching

March 20th, 2018

It’s been fourteen years since I’ve collaborated face-to-face with my coach, and I’ve just returned from Asheville, North Carolina after a very productive and revitalizing two-day intensive with Sandra “Sam” Foster, PhD. As I’ve mentioned, Sam is on the faculty of the College of Executive Coaching where I became a certified coach in 2002. I’ve been seeking her wisdom and support on and off since then, and once again, it felt like an opportune moment to spend some high-quality time together as we explored the next leg of my professional journey.

The outcome of my coaching experience with Sam is always similar—I return inspired, refreshed and grounded. Coaching is partially about goal-setting, values clarification and accountability, but it’s also an existential and sometimes spiritual collaboration, as I choose to re-visit my purpose and mission within my practice and related to my upcoming book project.

Through powerful questions and honest conversations, I was able to distinguish between my Wanna do’s and my Supposed to’s. It became evident to me that they blend at times, but my supposed to’s often feel heavy and obligatory where my wanna do’s create ease and lightness. Because I have a lot of interests both professionally and personally—a high-quality problem— I can sometimes stretch myself too thin. And this leaves me with less focus and attention available for my higher priorities.

I also went into the weekend with the hope of mapping out the next ten years of my professional life infused with some personal intentions as well. Although ten years turned out to be too much of a stretch, I did map out the next five years and feel relief and hope as I now see where my true priorities lie, and how I can keep my sanity and balance intact along the way.

As I anticipate the unfolding of my current book project in 2019, I felt compelled to examine my heart’s desire for my home life, my professional life and beyond. As a result, it reminds me to keep self-care in the forefront no matter what. Coaching has always provided me with a touchstone for what matters most to me—also known as values—and this past weekend steered me in that direction seamlessly.

As a result of my soul-searching discussions with Sam, I now feel more freedom and clarity to say Yes, No, or Maybe to the limitless menu of options in front of me. Not that anything has to happen, but simply what could happen—a reminder Sam has shared with me since we first met in 2001.
It also became clear to me that all future choices and decisions have to originate from Love and Ease. As a result of Sam’s reflections and provocative questions, I now know that love and ease will be a litmus test as I venture back into my practice this week and beyond. Expert coaching infused with the wisdom of Positive Psychology is truly the gift that keeps giving as Sam continues to walk beside me in this uncharted territory.

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