power of vulnerability
admin January 28th, 2012
If you haven’t seen it already–run, don’t walk to the YouTube presentation entitled The Power Of Vulnerability given by Brené Brown. Not only is she a fantastic presenter, but she shares valuable information that touches all of us. Below are some of the notes I compiled based on the video so get your popcorn and sit back for 20 minutes to listen to this research-based, whole-hearted, engaging presentation.
(My notes):
Connection is why we’re here—it’s what gives our lives purpose and meaning.
Humans have the ability to connect—we’re biologically wired for connection.
Shame: fear of disconnection; Is there something about me that if other people knew or saw would make me unworthy of connection?
Underpinning = excruciating vulnerability
For connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen.
Sense of worthiness: strong sense of love and belonging; belief that you’re worthy of love and belonging as opposed to others who feel they aren´t worthy of love and belonging (i.e. those who carry shame).
Whole-heartedness = deep sense of worthiness
Qualities of the whole-hearted person:
- Courage (to be imperfect)
- Compassion (to be kind to yourself and then to others)
- Connection (as a result of authenticity – letting go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are)
- Vulnerability (fully embraced): “what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful” (not comfortable or excruciating—simply necessary)
Examples of Vulnerability: saying I love you first, doing something with no guarantees; investing in relationship that may or may not work out
Vulnerability: Birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love, aliveness
When we numb vulnerability, we numb everything (e.g. addictions numb our pain but also numbs our aliveness)
Examples of how our society numbs:
Most in debt / Most obese / Most addicted / Most medicated adult cohort in U.S. history
How we numb:
- We try to make the uncertain, certain
- We perfect (e.g. plastic surgery)
- We pretend (what we do doesn’t have an effect on people)
Blame: A way to discharge pain and discomfort.
Therefore, blame prevents vulnerability.
Ways to lean into vulnerability:
- Let yourself be seen– deeply seen
- Love with your whole heart (without any guarantees)
- Practice gratitude and lean into joy
- Believe that “I am enough”