It’s Not The Mistakes That Count (Part 2)

In my therapy office, clients reveal setbacks all the time, and together
we process these so-called mistakes. So what do you do if you’ve been
in recovery for a while and then go off your plan? The tendency may be
to isolate and keep it a secret, but this will only perpetuate the shame
that goes along with the slip-up. Instead, contact someone you trust as
soon as possible—preferably someone in recovery. They will offer their
version . . .

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Meaning, Purpose, and Legacy (Part 1)

Spirituality, as I’ve mentioned before, is “whatever gives your life meaning.” You have the freedom to find it through your own heart rather than as others define it. A spiritual experience can take many forms—the simple enjoyment of an afternoon with a beloved pet, or on a hike through nature. Meaning and purpose in recovery tend to coalesce around big-ticket items like forgiveness, getting in touch . . .

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Problematic Porn Use and Moral Incongruence (Part 1)

Until recently, I wasn’t familiar with the term moral incongruence, but I’ve had clients through the years describe the effects of growing up in ultra-conservative families usually within strict religious communities that labeled pornography as sinful. As a liberal Jewish therapist, these stories always surprise me, but I continue to learn about the suffering associated with such complicated . . .

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Avoidance as a Survival Strategy (Part 2)

Because we are most defended against our greatest needs, intimacy is an emotionally-precarious territory. Over time, you learned to build self-protective walls due to past hurts, disappointments, and intrusions, but in recovery you can safely break down your walls and learn to rely on others gradually. If you’re determined to heal old relationship wounds, being in a relationship is the best place to work . . .

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