Ending compulsive sexual behavior is just the beginning. Drawing on personal and professional experience, psychotherapist Andrew Susskind examines issues such as shame, grief, narcissism, and co-dependency to demonstrate how people use out-of-control sexual behavior to cope with broken-heartedness. He offers strategies to cultivate sustainable sexual sobriety, sharing his own healing narrative, as well as those of others who’ve chosen to bear their truths. No one is ever too hurt or isolated to achieve reliable relationships and emotional intimacy. This is a guidebook for every person seeking long-term healing from sex addiction.

From Now On

Recovery from addiction is not a cookie-cutter process. Every addict experiences addiction differently, and every addict has a unique path of recovery. This workbook will complement your existing approaches to recovery whether they are 12-step programs, treatment centers, psychotherapy, and/or coaching.

Purposeful recovery is a hybrid term to describe another dimension of addiction recovery which isn’t always emphasized in the traditional places where one receives support. By using a strengths-based approach derived from both coaching and positive psychology, you ll have the opportunity to revitalize dormant aspects of yourself. As a result, the possibilities of adding deeper meaning and clearer direction to your recovery will expand and become more and more evident to you.

The exercises in this book will help you stretch beyond your comfort zone as you move into the next chapter of recovery. Thinking bigger than ever before will reveal limitless possibilities as you create purpose and direction.


It’s Not About The Sex is a podcast based on the book by the same name. Psychotherapist Andrew Susskind examines issues such as shame, grief, narcissism, and codependency to demonstrate how people use out-of-control sexual behavior to cope with broken heartedness. Each podcast he interviews experts who share fresh perspectives and strategies for other clinicians as well as those in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors.

Ep. 1 Troubled Couples – Leslie Quinn, LMFT

Ep. 2 Chemsex – David Fawcett, Ph.D

Ep. 3  It’s Not About the Sex – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 4 Emotional Sobriety – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 5 Sex Coaching – Dr. Patti Britton

Ep. 6 The Gratitude of Loss – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 7 EMDR Therapy – Claudia Lewis, LMFT

Ep. 8  Shame Resiliency – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 9 Is 12-Step The Only Option? – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 10  Narcissism and Sex Addiction – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 11 Group Therapy – Nancy Sobel, Psy.D.

Ep. 12 The Rhythm Within – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 13 Regulating the Nervous System – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 14 Formal Disclosure – Marty Simpson, LMFT, CSAT

Ep. 15 Cultivating Contentment – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 16 Treating Partners – Carol Jeurgensen Sheets, LCSW, CSAT

Ep. 17 Sexual Healing – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 18 Childhood Trauma and Sexual Healing – Jan Bergstrom, LHMC

Ep. 19 Breaking Down the Walls – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 20 Somatic Experiencing – Blair Smith, LMFT, SEP 

Ep. 21 Codependency and Boundaries – Susskind and Merlino 

Ep. 22 Prodependence – Robert Weiss, Ph.D., MSW

Ep. 23 Meaning, Purpose and Legacy – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 24 Relationship Coaching for Betrayed Partners – Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, SEP

Ep. 25 Coping with Covid-19 – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 26 Career Coaching and Recovery – Daisy Swan

Ep. 27 Forgiveness and Addiction – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 28 Healthy Sex – Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D.

Ep. 29 Guided Relaxation – Andrew Susskind

Ep. 30 Psychopharmacology and Addiction Recovery – Matthew Goldenberg, D.O. 

Ep. 31 Self-Compassion and Mindful Recovery – Jen Davis, AMFT

Ep. 32 Covid-Stamina – Susskind and Merlino

EP. 33 Queer Codependency – Grace Riddell, LICSW and Barry McNinch, MS

EP. 34 Anger as an Ally – Susskind and Merlino

EP. 35 Inner Child Recovery Process – Eddie Capparucci, LPC

EP. 36 Obsession and Love Addiction Revisited – Susskind and Merlino

EP. 37 Sexual Boundaries for Professionals – Tracy Zemansky, Ph.D., CSAT-S

Ep. 38 Home for the Holidays – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 39 DBT and Recovery – Elle Michele, LMFT 

Ep. 40 Catch Your Breath (a 4-minute exercise) – Susskind 

Ep. 41 Brainspotting – Roby Abeles, Psy.D.

Ep. 42 The Resilience of Recovery – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 43  Trauma and Addiction Recovery – Tom Pecca, MA, LMHC, CSAT, CTT 

Ep. 44 Working with Hurt – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 45 Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men – Joe Kort, Ph.D.

Ep. 46 Taming the Inner Critic – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 47 Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Douglas Braun-Harvey MFT, CGP

Ep. 48 Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Susskind

Ep. 49 Reimagining Midlife – Buck Dodson

Ep. 50 30-Years in Review: 1991-2021 – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 51 Fantasy as a Survival Strategy – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 52 Polyvagal Theory & Internal Family Systems – Terra Holbrook, LCSW, CADC, CSAT 

Ep. 53 Sex Addiction No More – Susskind and Merlino 

Ep. 54 Addict America: The Lost Connection – Dr. Carol Clark 

Ep 55 Sex, Money and Power – Debra Kaplan, MBA, CMAT, CSAT-S 

Ep 56 The Opposite of Addiction – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 57 The Curious Voyage – Cynthia Schwartzberg, LCSW

Ep. 58 Intimacy Avoidance – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 59 Lonely for the Holidays – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 60 The Eating Disorder Trap – Robyn Goldberg, RDN

Ep. 61 Guided Imagery 

Ep. 62 Examining the Five Love Languages – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 63 Current Research Behind Compulsive Sexual Behavior – Dr. Shane Kraus

Ep. 64 Assessing Problematic Sexual Behavior – Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT 

Ep. 65 A Peaceful Place Guided Meditation – Susskind 

Ep. 66 Chinese Medicine and Trauma – Dr. Lucy Postolov 

Ep. 67 Unresolved Trauma and Sexualized Drug Use – Mellissa McCracken, CADC-II

Ep. 68 Demystifying Group Therapy – Susskind and Merlino 

Ep. 69 A Day at the Beach Guided Imagery – Susskind

Ep. 70 Cutting Edge Treatment for Chronic Pain – Dr. Mel Pohl 

Ep. 71. The ABC’s of Dual Diagnosis – Susskind and Merlino 

Ep. 72 Psilocybin? Ketamine? MDMA?: Cutting-Edge Therapeutic Approaches – Dr. Eva Altobelli

Ep. 73 Brainspotting: A Step by Step Approach – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 74 Gut Health and Addiction – Dr. Edison DeMello

Ep. 75 Interview with Sue Merlino 

Ep. 76 Self-Compassion Break – Susskind

Ep. 77 Positive Psychology and Coaching – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 78 Sexual Integrity – Dr. Steven Davidson 

Ep. 79 The MindTravel Experience – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 80 The Reigniting Intimate Connection – Linda Landon, PCC

Ep. 81 Got Consultation? Susskind & Merlino

Ep. 82 Beyond Anti-Depressants: TMS as an Alternative – Dr. Martha Koo 

Ep. 83 Visioning Susskind & Merlino

Ep. 84 Visioning Exercise – Susskind 

Ep. 85 Mission: Joy – Finding Happiness in troubled Times Susskind & Merlino

Ep. 86 Practical Psychotherapist- Joni Lavick, LMFT  

Ep 87. The Mystery of Men’s Group – Susskind & Merlino

Ep. 88 Core Roots & Sustainable Healing, Mariya Javed-Payne, LCSW 

Ep. 89 Receiving Love – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 90 The Role of Community in Recovery – Nate Larkin, M.Div 

Ep. 91 Window of Resilience – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 92 Moving from Suffering to Savoring – Dr. Carlos Canales 

Ep. 93 Guided Meditation for Working with Difficulties – Susskind

Ep. 94 Happy, Silly, Wise – Claudia Lewis, LMFT  

Ep. 95 Five Years Later – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 96 Becoming an Executive Coach – Klifton Fehr, LMHC

EP. 97 Navigating Depression – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 98 Understanding Motivation for Change – Michael Vigorito, LMFT

Ep. 99 Guided Breathing Meditation – Susskind 

Ep. 100 Porn Literacy – Diane Gleim, LMFT 

Ep. 101 Holiday Tips – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 102 Consensual Non-Monogamy – Mellissa McCracken, CADC, CSAT-C 

Ep 103 Visioning 2024 – Susskind 

Ep. 104 The Over-Controlled Temperament – Dr. Tom Murray 

Ep. 105 Lovingkindness Guided Meditation – Susskind 

Ep. 106 Virtual Book Launch, ‘It’s Not About The Sex Workbook‘ – Susskind & Merlino 

Ep. 107 Sexual Recovery: From a Nightmare to a Love Story – Steve Wolt

Ep. 108 Resilience – Susskind and Merlino

Ep. 109 A Grief Memoir — Jen Davis, MA, CLC

Guest Appearances

Couch Time with Janet & Suzi

Conversations from the Couch with Leah Briick

The Guiding Compass Podcast with Sandra Kushnir

Life in Recovery Podcast with Ren Koi

Sober Nation with Jonathan Sylvester

Sex, Love, and Addiction with Robert Weiss, MSW, PhD

Sex Help with Carol the Coach with Carol Sheets, LCSW

Inner Voice-Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan

Porn Brain Rewire – Dr. Trish Leigh and Andrew Susskind

The Addicted Mind Podcast – By Duane Osterlind, LMFT

Sex Bytes Podcast – Emilie Joe Brandt, SASH

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