Ending compulsive sexual behavior is just the beginning. Drawing on personal and professional experience, psychotherapist Andrew Susskind examines issues such as shame, grief, narcissism, and co-dependency to demonstrate how people use out-of-control sexual behavior to cope with broken-heartedness. He offers strategies to cultivate sustainable sexual sobriety, sharing his own healing narrative, as well as those of others who’ve chosen to bear their truths. No one is ever too hurt or isolated to achieve reliable relationships and emotional intimacy. This is a guidebook for every person seeking long-term healing from sex addiction.
Recovery from addiction is not a cookie-cutter process. Every addict experiences addiction differently, and every addict has a unique path of recovery. This workbook will complement your existing approaches to recovery whether they are 12-step programs, treatment centers, psychotherapy, and/or coaching.
Purposeful recovery is a hybrid term to describe another dimension of addiction recovery which isn’t always emphasized in the traditional places where one receives support. By using a strengths-based approach derived from both coaching and positive psychology, you ll have the opportunity to revitalize dormant aspects of yourself. As a result, the possibilities of adding deeper meaning and clearer direction to your recovery will expand and become more and more evident to you.
The exercises in this book will help you stretch beyond your comfort zone as you move into the next chapter of recovery. Thinking bigger than ever before will reveal limitless possibilities as you create purpose and direction.
Podcasts
It’s Not About The Sex is a podcast based on the book by the same name. Psychotherapist Andrew Susskind examines issues such as shame, grief, narcissism, and codependency to demonstrate how people use out-of-control sexual behavior to cope with broken heartedness. Each podcast he interviews experts who share fresh perspectives and strategies for other clinicians as well as those in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors.
Ep. 1 Troubled Couples – Leslie Quinn, LMFT
Ep. 2 Chemsex – David Fawcett, Ph.D
Ep. 3 It’s Not About the Sex – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 4 Emotional Sobriety – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 5 Sex Coaching – Dr. Patti Britton
Ep. 6 The Gratitude of Loss – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 7 EMDR Therapy – Claudia Lewis, LMFT
Ep. 8 Shame Resiliency – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 9 Is 12-Step The Only Option? – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 10 Narcissism and Sex Addiction – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 11 Group Therapy – Nancy Sobel, Psy.D.
Ep. 12 The Rhythm Within – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 13 Regulating the Nervous System – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 14 Formal Disclosure – Marty Simpson, LMFT, CSAT
Ep. 15 Cultivating Contentment – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 16 Treating Partners – Carol Jeurgensen Sheets, LCSW, CSAT
Ep. 17 Sexual Healing – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 18 Childhood Trauma and Sexual Healing – Jan Bergstrom, LHMC
Ep. 19 Breaking Down the Walls – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 20 Somatic Experiencing – Blair Smith, LMFT, SEP
Ep. 21 Codependency and Boundaries – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 22 Prodependence – Robert Weiss, Ph.D., MSW
Ep. 23 Meaning, Purpose and Legacy – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 24 Relationship Coaching for Betrayed Partners – Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, SEP
Ep. 25 Coping with Covid-19 – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 26 Career Coaching and Recovery – Daisy Swan
Ep. 27 Forgiveness and Addiction – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 28 Healthy Sex – Alexandra Katehakis, Ph.D.
Ep. 29 Guided Relaxation – Andrew Susskind
Ep. 30 Psychopharmacology and Addiction Recovery – Matthew Goldenberg, D.O.
Ep. 31 Self-Compassion and Mindful Recovery – Jen Davis, AMFT
Ep. 32 Covid-Stamina – Susskind and Merlino
EP. 33 Queer Codependency – Grace Riddell, LICSW and Barry McNinch, MS
EP. 34 Anger as an Ally – Susskind and Merlino
EP. 35 Inner Child Recovery Process – Eddie Capparucci, LPC
EP. 36 Obsession and Love Addiction Revisited – Susskind and Merlino
EP. 37 Sexual Boundaries for Professionals – Tracy Zemansky, Ph.D., CSAT-S
Ep. 38 Home for the Holidays – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 39 DBT and Recovery – Elle Michele, LMFT
Ep. 40 Catch Your Breath (a 4-minute exercise) – Susskind
Ep. 41 Brainspotting – Roby Abeles, Psy.D.
Ep. 42 The Resilience of Recovery – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 43 Trauma and Addiction Recovery – Tom Pecca, MA, LMHC, CSAT, CTT
Ep. 44 Working with Hurt – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 45 Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men – Joe Kort, Ph.D.
Ep. 46 Taming the Inner Critic – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 47 Out of Control Sexual Behavior – Douglas Braun-Harvey MFT, CGP
Ep. 48 Progressive Muscle Relaxation – Susskind
Ep. 49 Reimagining Midlife – Buck Dodson
Ep. 50 30-Years in Review: 1991-2021 – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 51 Fantasy as a Survival Strategy – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 52 Polyvagal Theory & Internal Family Systems – Terra Holbrook, LCSW, CADC, CSAT
Ep. 53 Sex Addiction No More – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 54 Addict America: The Lost Connection – Dr. Carol Clark
Ep 55 Sex, Money and Power – Debra Kaplan, MBA, CMAT, CSAT-S
Ep 56 The Opposite of Addiction – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 57 The Curious Voyage – Cynthia Schwartzberg, LCSW
Ep. 58 Intimacy Avoidance – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 59 Lonely for the Holidays – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 60 The Eating Disorder Trap – Robyn Goldberg, RDN
Ep. 62 Examining the Five Love Languages – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 63 Current Research Behind Compulsive Sexual Behavior – Dr. Shane Kraus
Ep. 64 Assessing Problematic Sexual Behavior – Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT
Ep. 65 A Peaceful Place Guided Meditation – Susskind
Ep. 66 Chinese Medicine and Trauma – Dr. Lucy Postolov
Ep. 67 Unresolved Trauma and Sexualized Drug Use – Mellissa McCracken, CADC-II
Ep. 68 Demystifying Group Therapy – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 69 A Day at the Beach Guided Imagery – Susskind
Ep. 70 Cutting Edge Treatment for Chronic Pain – Dr. Mel Pohl
Ep. 71. The ABC’s of Dual Diagnosis – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 72 Psilocybin? Ketamine? MDMA?: Cutting-Edge Therapeutic Approaches – Dr. Eva Altobelli
Ep. 73 Brainspotting: A Step by Step Approach – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 74 Gut Health and Addiction – Dr. Edison DeMello
Ep. 75 Interview with Sue Merlino
Ep. 76 Self-Compassion Break – Susskind
Ep. 77 Positive Psychology and Coaching – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 78 Sexual Integrity – Dr. Steven Davidson
Ep. 79 The MindTravel Experience – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 80 The Reigniting Intimate Connection – Linda Landon, PCC
Ep. 81 Got Consultation? Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 82 Beyond Anti-Depressants: TMS as an Alternative – Dr. Martha Koo
Ep. 83 Visioning Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 84 Visioning Exercise – Susskind
Ep. 85 Mission: Joy – Finding Happiness in troubled Times Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 86 Practical Psychotherapist- Joni Lavick, LMFT
Ep 87. The Mystery of Men’s Group – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 88 Core Roots & Sustainable Healing, Mariya Javed-Payne, LCSW
Ep. 89 Receiving Love – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 90 The Role of Community in Recovery – Nate Larkin, M.Div
Ep. 91 Window of Resilience – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 92 Moving from Suffering to Savoring – Dr. Carlos Canales
Ep. 93 Guided Meditation for Working with Difficulties – Susskind
Ep. 94 Happy, Silly, Wise – Claudia Lewis, LMFT
Ep. 95 Five Years Later – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 96 Becoming an Executive Coach – Klifton Fehr, LMHC
EP. 97 Navigating Depression – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 98 Understanding Motivation for Change – Michael Vigorito, LMFT
Ep. 99 Guided Breathing Meditation – Susskind
Ep. 100 Porn Literacy – Diane Gleim, LMFT
Ep. 101 Holiday Tips – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 102 Consensual Non-Monogamy – Mellissa McCracken, CADC, CSAT-C
Ep 103 Visioning 2024 – Susskind
Ep. 104 The Over-Controlled Temperament – Dr. Tom Murray
Ep. 105 Lovingkindness Guided Meditation – Susskind
Ep. 106 Virtual Book Launch, ‘It’s Not About The Sex Workbook‘ – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 107 Sexual Recovery: From a Nightmare to a Love Story – Steve Wolt
Ep. 108 Resilience – Susskind and Merlino
Ep. 109 A Grief Memoir — Jen Davis, MA, CLC
Ep. 110 Living with Loss – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 111 Attachment Assessment DIY! – Joni Lavick, LMFT
Ep. 112 Turning Down the Volume on Shame – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 113 Psychodrama 101: It’s All About the Warm Up – Jean Campbell, LCSW
Ep. 114 From Vocal Coach to Recovery Coach – Arnold McCuller
Ep. 115 Moving Beyond Narcissism – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 116 Problematic Sexualized Drug Use – Dr. David Fawcett
Ep. 117 Regulating the Nervous System – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 118 Sexual Identity Development – Katie Griffin, CGP
Ep. 119 Feeling the Feelings – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 120 A Gestalt Healing Perspective Release – Rafael Cortina, MFT
Ep. 121 Cultivating Contentment – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 122 Redefining Recovery Through Connection and Purpose – Tim Harrington
Ep. 123 Restoring Purpose – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 124 The Necessity of Shame – Stefanie Klein, LSW
Ep. 125 Receiving Love – Susskind & Merlino
Ep. 126 Coaching & Clarity: The Power of Clear Pathways – Sue Merlino
Ep. 127 Revitalizing Sexual Health – Susskind & Merlino
Guest Appearances
The Eating Disorder Trap Podcast #167 with Robyn Goldberg
Conversations from the Couch with Leah Briick
The Guiding Compass Podcast with Sandra Kushnir
Life in Recovery Podcast with Ren Koi
Sober Nation with Jonathan Sylvester
Sex, Love, and Addiction with Robert Weiss, MSW, PhD
Sex Help with Carol the Coach with Carol Sheets, LCSW
Inner Voice-Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan
Porn Brain Rewire – Dr. Trish Leigh and Andrew Susskind