Grief as an Ally: Part 1

As the holidays approach, I’ve been taking a closer look at grief and how it works in my life and in my recovery. In American culture, most people try not to think about grief, and yet, grieving can be a valuable way to say goodbye while moving forward. If you don’t grieve, it can actually be an obstacle . . .

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Restoring the Wisdom of the Nervous System: Reducing the Vulnerability to Relapse from Sexual Addiction

Out of control sexual behavior creates an imbalanced nervous system. The anticipation and hunt for sex leaves you dysregulated, as you remain lost in the attempt to numb your pain and escape your feelings. Dysregulation describes the disruption of the nervous system: up-regulation refers to internal states such as panic or rage, and down-regulation refers to disconnection or shutting down.

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The Homestretch

It was October 2014. I received a LinkedIn message from the acquisitions editor for Central Recovery Press in Las Vegas after she read my workbook, From Now On: Seven Keys to Purposeful Recovery. I was surprised to say the least. I had no idea that editors actually look for authors on-line, but this is how Eliza Tutellier found me. She was coming to Los Angeles to attend the Evolution of Addiction conference so we decided to set up a meeting. Our dinner turned into a three-hour meeting of the hearts and minds.

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‘Tis the season (2018 update)

The polarities in this country are indisputable, and there can also be canyons and disputes in families, circles of friends and in the workplace. In spite of the differences and conflicts, the holiday season is here once again, and you have options for how you choose to participate in it or not.

For those of you in recovery, it’s often a challenging time as the brokenheartedness of the past can creep into the present tense when you least expect it.

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Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder

A few months ago, the World Health Organization recognized and included “compulsive sexual behavior disorder” in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10). This is the first time that anything close to “sex addiction” has been validated as a diagnostic code. For many years there has been an effort by sex addiction therapists to include “sexual addiction” as a classification/diagnosis, but to no avail. Sexual addiction was coined by Patrick Carnes in the 1980s, but it’s always been a controversial term accepted by some clinicians and rejected by others.

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Professional Home

It was October 2008. I recently signed the lease on a brand-new suite in a brand-new building on Overland just south of Pico in West Los Angeles. Not only was I a first-generation leaseholder, but I also had the opportunity to design the suite detail upon detail. It turned out to be a rather precarious time in our country, but I kept my focus and ten years later could not be more pleased with my professional home.

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  • September 3, 2018
  • News

Rest & Relaxation

Rest and relaxation is a lost art. When I was a kid, I had a BFF in my neighborhood who was always available to simply hang out. I would call him on my red rotary phone and ask him, “What are you doing?” and he would typically answer, “Nothing.” So I would respond, “Wanna do nothing together?” and he would always enthusiastically say, “Absolutely. Let’s do nothing together!”

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The positive psychology of sex addiction

Traditionally, twelve-step programs describe addiction with borrowed language from the medical model such as disease, illness, and even the word addiction itself. Yet, there’s less shameful and stigmatizing ways to talk about it.

In 1998, Dr. Marty Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania coined the term Positive Psychology, and a like-minded, international community of researchers came out of the woodwork. Not only did they open the door to expanded research in this brand-new field, but they also paved the way toward its application toward addictive and compulsive behaviors.

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