In my therapy office, clients reveal setbacks all the time, and together
we process these so-called mistakes. So what do you do if you’ve been
in recovery for a while and then go off your plan? The tendency may be
to isolate and keep it a secret, but this will only perpetuate the shame
that goes along with the slip-up. Instead, contact someone you trust as
soon as possible—preferably someone in recovery. They will offer their
version . . .
Recovery
The Necessity of Pleasure (Part 2)
Pleasure is not only a concept—it’s an action. Here we will look at specific ways to safely explore pleasure as a strategy for long-term freedom and sexual . . .
Continue reading...The Imperfection of Recovery (Part 2)
Recovery from compulsive sex is an imperfect road, and we have to embrace a paradigm shift to believe that relapse is a growth opportunity. Practicing imperfection requires a mindful approach to implementing helpful and sustainable healing strategies. Try not to follow these ideas too perfectly, but instead, consider which ones . . .
Continue reading...The Imperfection of Recovery (Part 1)
I was a child perfectionist. Not your average version of perfection, but a card-carrying, practicing, CEO of childhood perfectionism. If I didn’t understand instructions given to me by my Hebrew teacher, I would have a meltdown. If my t-shirts were not hung up neatly on matching hangers in my closet, I would get anxious. If I didn’t finish everything on my to-do list, I would go into a shame spiral. It wasn’t classic . . .
Continue reading...What’s the Purpose? (Part 2)
After the problematic sexual behavior has waned, you’re left with a blank canvas that holds endless possibilities. Yet, it can also be quite overwhelming and uncertain. Now that the compulsive sex is gone, who am I? What do I really want . . .
Continue reading...What’s the Purpose? (Part 1)
After the problematic sexual behavior has waned, you’re left with a blank canvas that holds endless possibilities. Yet, it can also be quite overwhelming and uncertain. Now that the compulsive sex is gone, who am I? What do I really want . . .
Continue reading...Guest Blogger, Melissa Howard:
3 Obstacles You’ll Face in Recovery and How to Overcome Them
Getting sober is the first hurdle to cross in addiction recovery, but it’s far from the final one. Recovery is full of obstacles and barriers that want to drag you back to a life of addiction. That’s why most people relapse at some point during their recovery journey . . .
Continue reading...Grief as an Ally: Part 2
Because addictive, compulsive behaviors sometimes act as social lubricants (supposedly making it easier to be around others), you may find yourself feeling awkward without the drink in your hand or the porn apps ready to go. Hopefully, you have already been practicing social connection and fellowship before the holidays. Your addiction was a often a way to feel less and to regulate the distance . . .
Continue reading...Grief as an Ally: Part 1
As the holidays approach, I’ve been taking a closer look at grief and how it works in my life and in my recovery. In American culture, most people try not to think about grief, and yet, grieving can be a valuable way to say goodbye while moving forward. If you don’t grieve, it can actually be an obstacle . . .
Continue reading...Moving from Sexual Sobriety to Emotional Sobriety
Once you stop your out of control sexual behavior, you’ve come to the starting gate of discovering emotional sobriety. But what does this really mean? It’s when you feel most like yourself. When you begin to feel more comfortable in your skin, more relaxed and more at peace. It’s a reclaiming of your resilient, resourceful, regulated state of well-being.
Continue reading...