Recovery from compulsive sex is an imperfect road, and we have to embrace a paradigm shift to believe that relapse is a growth opportunity. Practicing imperfection requires a mindful approach to implementing helpful and sustainable healing strategies. Try not to follow these ideas too perfectly, but instead, consider which ones . . .
Continue reading...Recovery
The Imperfection of Recovery (Part 1)
I was a child perfectionist. Not your average version of perfection, but a card-carrying, practicing, CEO of childhood perfectionism. If I didn’t understand instructions given to me by my Hebrew teacher, I would have a meltdown. If my t-shirts were not hung up neatly on matching hangers in my closet, I would get anxious. If I didn’t finish everything on my to-do list, I would go into a shame spiral. It wasn’t classic . . .
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- November 6, 2020
- Brokenheartedness Emotions Recovery Sexual Behavior Sexual Sobriety Shame
What’s the Purpose? (Part 2)
After the problematic sexual behavior has waned, you’re left with a blank canvas that holds endless possibilities. Yet, it can also be quite overwhelming and uncertain. Now that the compulsive sex is gone, who am I? What do I really want . . .
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- October 21, 2020
- Meaning/Purpose Psychology Recovery Sexual Behavior Spirituality
What’s the Purpose? (Part 1)
After the problematic sexual behavior has waned, you’re left with a blank canvas that holds endless possibilities. Yet, it can also be quite overwhelming and uncertain. Now that the compulsive sex is gone, who am I? What do I really want . . .
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- October 7, 2020
- Meaning/Purpose Psychology Recovery Sexual Behavior Spirituality
Guest Blogger, Melissa Howard:
3 Obstacles You’ll Face in Recovery and How to Overcome Them
Getting sober is the first hurdle to cross in addiction recovery, but it’s far from the final one. Recovery is full of obstacles and barriers that want to drag you back to a life of addiction. That’s why most people relapse at some point during their recovery journey . . .
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Grief as an Ally: Part 2
Because addictive, compulsive behaviors sometimes act as social lubricants (supposedly making it easier to be around others), you may find yourself feeling awkward without the drink in your hand or the porn apps ready to go. Hopefully, you have already been practicing social connection and fellowship before the holidays. Your addiction was a often a way to feel less and to regulate the distance . . .
Continue reading...Grief as an Ally: Part 1
As the holidays approach, I’ve been taking a closer look at grief and how it works in my life and in my recovery. In American culture, most people try not to think about grief, and yet, grieving can be a valuable way to say goodbye while moving forward. If you don’t grieve, it can actually be an obstacle . . .
Continue reading...Moving from Sexual Sobriety to Emotional Sobriety
Once you stop your out of control sexual behavior, you’ve come to the starting gate of discovering emotional sobriety. But what does this really mean? It’s when you feel most like yourself. When you begin to feel more comfortable in your skin, more relaxed and more at peace. It’s a reclaiming of your resilient, resourceful, regulated state of well-being.
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- November 23, 2019
- Recovery Sexual Addiction Sobriety
‘Tis the season (2018 update)
The polarities in this country are indisputable, and there can also be canyons and disputes in families, circles of friends and in the workplace. In spite of the differences and conflicts, the holiday season is here once again, and you have options for how you choose to participate in it or not.
For those of you in recovery, it’s often a challenging time as the brokenheartedness of the past can creep into the present tense when you least expect it.
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