Healing

Revealing Blind Spots (Now What? Life After Sex Addiction, Part 1)

Sexual compulsives compartmentalize sex and intimacy as separate experiences, so the quest to integrate them may seem like a long haul. Similar to how a drug addict chooses to abstain from their substance of choice, you’ve chosen to give up the adrenaline rush and immediate gratification that accompanied risky behaviors like anonymous sex or visits to “happy ending” massage parlors. If you can maintain sexual sobriety, an open heart, and some perseverance, all the rewards of emotional sobriety may come your way too.

Which is not to say the process . . .

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Building Better Boundaries (Part 2)

In Part 1 we were building awareness and insight regarding better boundaries. Sometimes, boundaries can go too far and become rigid and isolating. Here are a few typical walls that you might use to protect yourself: Black-and-white thinking. This self-protective, rigid way of viewing yourself and others results in profound loneliness and unexpressed anger. Therefore, it acts . . .

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It’s Not The Mistakes That Count (Part 2)

In my therapy office, clients reveal setbacks all the time, and together
we process these so-called mistakes. So what do you do if you’ve been
in recovery for a while and then go off your plan? The tendency may be
to isolate and keep it a secret, but this will only perpetuate the shame
that goes along with the slip-up. Instead, contact someone you trust as
soon as possible—preferably someone in recovery. They will offer their
version . . .

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Avoidance as a Survival Strategy (Part 2)

Because we are most defended against our greatest needs, intimacy is an emotionally-precarious territory. Over time, you learned to build self-protective walls due to past hurts, disappointments, and intrusions, but in recovery you can safely break down your walls and learn to rely on others gradually. If you’re determined to heal old relationship wounds, being in a relationship is the best place to work . . .

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