In Part 1 we were building awareness and insight regarding better boundaries. Sometimes, boundaries can go too far and become rigid and isolating. Here are a few typical walls that you might use to protect yourself: Black-and-white thinking. This self-protective, rigid way of viewing yourself and others results in profound loneliness and unexpressed anger. Therefore, it acts . . .Continue reading...
It’s Not The Mistakes That Count (Part 2)
In my therapy office, clients reveal setbacks all the time, and together
we process these so-called mistakes. So what do you do if you’ve been
in recovery for a while and then go off your plan? The tendency may be
to isolate and keep it a secret, but this will only perpetuate the shame
that goes along with the slip-up. Instead, contact someone you trust as
soon as possible—preferably someone in recovery. They will offer their
version . . .
Avoidance as a Survival Strategy (Part 2)
Because we are most defended against our greatest needs, intimacy is an emotionally-precarious territory. Over time, you learned to build self-protective walls due to past hurts, disappointments, and intrusions, but in recovery you can safely break down your walls and learn to rely on others gradually. If you’re determined to heal old relationship wounds, being in a relationship is the best place to work . . .Continue reading...
Avoidance as a Survival Strategy (Part 1)
Scratch the surface of compulsive sexual behavior, and you’ll find an avoidant attachment style. As a matter of fact, sexual compulsivity and intimacy avoidance are inseparable. Because you had poor role models to show you the way, substantial intimacy blocks are inevitable. In other words, giving and receiving love has been dangerous . . .Continue reading...
From Brokenheartedness to Self-Compassion (Part 2)
Now that you’ve identified the necessity for Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) in your recovery, how do you integrate these ideas . . .Continue reading...
Healing Hurt from the Inside Out (Part 2)
Now that you are developing a fresh, new perspective to metabolize hurt, here are some specific action steps to apply to your repertoire of possibilities . . .Continue reading...