Sexual Sobriety

Revealing Blind Spots (Now What? Life After Sex Addiction, Part 1)

Sexual compulsives compartmentalize sex and intimacy as separate experiences, so the quest to integrate them may seem like a long haul. Similar to how a drug addict chooses to abstain from their substance of choice, you’ve chosen to give up the adrenaline rush and immediate gratification that accompanied risky behaviors like anonymous sex or visits to “happy ending” massage parlors. If you can maintain sexual sobriety, an open heart, and some perseverance, all the rewards of emotional sobriety may come your way too.

Which is not to say the process . . .

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The Imperfection of Recovery (Part 1)

I was a child perfectionist. Not your average version of perfection, but a card-carrying, practicing, CEO of childhood perfectionism. If I didn’t understand instructions given to me by my Hebrew teacher, I would have a meltdown. If my t-shirts were not hung up neatly on matching hangers in my closet, I would get anxious. If I didn’t finish everything on my to-do list, I would go into a shame spiral. It wasn’t classic . . .

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The Rhythm Within (Part 1)

Having grown up in the 70s in a turbulent family, I found creative ways to cope with the chaos of our home. First of all, I worked really hard to make good friends. As a matter of fact, I was adopted by at least four families before the age of 12. I also tried to be as busy as possible and do all of my homework and my chores. Except for stopping long enough to watch the innovative sitcoms of the 70s such as All in the Family, M.A.S.H. and the Mary Tyler Moore Show, I was always on the go. Doing, achieving and perfecting became my survival strategies to avoid the sadness, hurt and anger within me. If I did enough, achieved enough and perfected enough, somehow . . .

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Emotional Sobriety: An Action Plan (Part 1)

This year I’ve decided to infuse my blog posts with more user-friendly tools, strategies and action steps. This month I’ll be revisiting the theme of Emotional Sobriety and introducing specific ways you can create a practice around it. Emotional Sobriety can only take shape once you are sexually sober. But let’s open the aperture even further. Most people who are healing . . .

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