Brokenheartedness is often the cause, and compulsive sexual behavior is one of the effects. Of course there is much more nuance to this equation; however, healing the heartbreak requires self-compassion to ease the shame, hurt, self-loathing . . .
Continue reading...Shame
Healing Hurt from the Inside Out (Part 1)
Hurt is a designer emotion. It’s the hub of the wheel surrounded by anger, sadness, disappointment, disillusionment and shame. When you feel deeply hurt, it leaves you with an emotional wound that requires close attention. Putting a band-aid on it won’t heal it. You need to keep it clean, change the emotional dressing daily and give it oxygen until the healing process unfolds. Sometimes hurt doesn’t go away entirely, but instead, it offers perspective and less acute pain eventually. But what does hurt have . . .
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- March 17, 2021
- Anger Emotions Separateness Shame
The Imperfection of Recovery (Part 2)
Recovery from compulsive sex is an imperfect road, and we have to embrace a paradigm shift to believe that relapse is a growth opportunity. Practicing imperfection requires a mindful approach to implementing helpful and sustainable healing strategies. Try not to follow these ideas too perfectly, but instead, consider which ones . . .
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- November 20, 2020
- Brokenheartedness Emotions Recovery Sexual Behavior Sexual Sobriety Shame
The Imperfection of Recovery (Part 1)
I was a child perfectionist. Not your average version of perfection, but a card-carrying, practicing, CEO of childhood perfectionism. If I didn’t understand instructions given to me by my Hebrew teacher, I would have a meltdown. If my t-shirts were not hung up neatly on matching hangers in my closet, I would get anxious. If I didn’t finish everything on my to-do list, I would go into a shame spiral. It wasn’t classic . . .
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- November 6, 2020
- Brokenheartedness Emotions Recovery Sexual Behavior Sexual Sobriety Shame
Guest Blogger, Melissa Howard:
3 Obstacles You’ll Face in Recovery and How to Overcome Them
Getting sober is the first hurdle to cross in addiction recovery, but it’s far from the final one. Recovery is full of obstacles and barriers that want to drag you back to a life of addiction. That’s why most people relapse at some point during their recovery journey . . .
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Turning Down the Volume on Shame:
An Action Plan (Part 2)
Welcome back to our exploration of shame. Now that we’ve started to identify and name it, how do you build shame resiliency? Action Step #1: Distinguish between healthier shame and toxic shame. Remember that healthier shame lets you know if you’ve crossed boundaries or done something that is not in your integrity.
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- February 25, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Emotions Group Therapy Shame
Turning Down the Volume on Shame:
An Action Plan (Part 1)
Shame is epidemic, but that’s not always a bad thing. Shame is one of your primary emotions and part of the human condition, but it can be paralyzing and profoundly isolating if not explored and processed. It often shows up in the self-attacking language you sometimes use against yourself such as . . .
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- February 11, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Emotions Group Therapy Shame