Today in Recovery
In my book It’s Not About the Sex, Chapter Eleven was originally developed during my coach training when I began pondering the bigger existential questions of purpose, meaning, and legacy . . .
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Spirituality, as I’ve mentioned before, is “whatever gives your life meaning.” You have the freedom to find it through your own heart rather than as others define it. A spiritual experience can take many forms—the simple enjoyment of an afternoon with a beloved pet, or on a hike through nature. Meaning and purpose in recovery tend to coalesce around big-ticket items like forgiveness, getting in touch . . .
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In Part One we established that loneliness is not only a universal feeling, but it’s also a trigger for possible recurrence of compulsive sexual behavior and romantic fantasy. Let’s consider some safe, productive ways to work with loneliness . . .
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Loneliness is everywhere. It’s a form of invisible suffering, a universal part of being human. It’s also a significant trigger toward the hunt for compulsive sex and the fantasy to be rescued. “I feel so alone today.” “My life is busy but I feel hollow on the inside.” “There are a lot of people in my life, yet I feel lonely . . .
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Until recently, I wasn’t familiar with the term moral incongruence, but I’ve had clients through the years describe the effects of growing up in ultra-conservative families usually within strict religious communities that labeled pornography as sinful. As a liberal Jewish therapist, these stories always surprise me, but I continue to learn about the suffering associated with such complicated . . .
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Fantasy is defined as imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained (www.dictionary.com), and it can also be a liberating exploration of your wants and desires, both sexual or romantic. Is it possible that fantasy gets a bad rap? Can your imagination, even if extravagant or unrestrained be useful and safe? The answer is . . .
Continue reading...I’ve always liked the word resilience. Maybe it’s how the word sounds or maybe it’s what it means to me, but it’s always held significance in my life. I believe that resilience can be a superpower that shows up after life’s challenges are thrown in your way—sometimes . . .
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Pleasure is not only a concept—it’s an action. Here we will look at specific ways to safely explore pleasure as a strategy for long-term freedom and sexual . . .
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Face it. It’s been a few hundred years since Puritanical beliefs thrived in early America when sex for pleasure was seen as morally wrong. Yet, religious dogma continues to exist in our society today, and some faith communities still contribute to confusion and shame based on rigid, outdated rules . . .
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Normalize anger as a natural, necessary emotion. All of your feelings are valid and useful. By editing or censoring your anger, you’re removing a vital part of yourself. All emotions are welcome to the table. Identify and name your anger . . .
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