Today in Recovery
What can a prospective group member anticipate as part of a group experience? Here are some of the typical themes that emerge:
• Relationships—romantic, family, friends, work
• Trauma and brokenheartedness
• Anxiety and depression
• Addictive, compulsive behaviors
• Career and money
• Shame and loneliness
• Sex and sexuality
When I meet a client for the first time . . .
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“Since I joined group, I don’t feel so alone anymore—now I know there are others who are in my corner.” I hear this sentiment over and over again from clients who commit to weekly group therapy—a place to both learn about oneself while helping others learn about themselves. Clients typically come to group because they have longings for deeper contact, and group is where they get to take risks, be vulnerable, and as a result, experience deeper connection.
In the early ‘80s . . .
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Trust takes shape over time with a person you can truly count on. But if your trust muscles were not strengthened as a child, it will take endurance to build them as an adult. Many years may be needed, even if you’re willing to be faithful to the process. Find your people—those who are steadfast supporters and also want to travel this trust journey with you. By investing in yourself, you’re . . .
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Although narcissism is generally seen as a negative trait, healthy narcissism is critical to child development. It’s how your confidence and self-esteem take shape. According to Freud and other psychoanalysts, all children
possess a sense of omnipotence and grandiosity as they enter the world, where they strive to receive the gleam in the eye of their caregiver. In recovery, it’s essential to find that gleam of appreciation and approval from caring friends and confidants, rather . . .
How does attachment style relate to long-term sexual recovery?
As we discussed, you can teach an old dog new tricks, but doing so takes determination and endurance. If you were not raised with a secure attachment, and most of us were not, it’s not too late . . .
Reliable relationships are what help infants regulate their nervous systems, and attachment patterns are founded in this connection between a baby and its caregiver. Unfortunately, many of you did not have emotionally dependable parents, leaving you at risk for compulsive behaviors. In 1988, British psychoanalyst John Bowlby wrote A Secure Base, which sparked . . .
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By reminding yourself of what you’re grateful for in your recovery, you’ll build perspective against what hasn’t gone right in your life. Tracking gratitude also builds your capacity for deeper connections with others and decreases your tendency toward shame and comparison. Dr. Seligman suggests specific action steps to promote an “attitude of gratitude”: Begin by writing down three things you’re grateful for every day before going to sleep. Secondly, write a gratitude . . .
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In her book The Wealthy Spirit, author Chellie Campbell adopts a brilliant sea metaphor as she suggests that you surround yourself with dolphins. Her financial stress reduction workshop teaches students that there are your people, and the rest of the world; it’s your job in life to find your pod. If you have too much of a need to be liked by others, this will cause suffering. Campbell explains . . .
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This is one of my favorite charts because it captures two possible directions: 1. Leaning into love and intimacy or 2. Repeating past painful patterns that were established in childhood. Here are some of the differences between authentic intimacy and . . .
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All of this—the compulsive sex, the emotional longing, the relationship struggles—is about the same thing: love. That feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. Intimacy and love are clearly different from the intense, adrenaline-seeking behaviors and relationships you engaged in before, and so your greatest challenge . . .
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