Lori arrived for therapy with tears in her eyes. “I did it again. I fell for another guy who was totally unavailable and once again convinced myself that he was the one. I don’t know if I can . . .
Continue reading...Andrew Susskind
Love Avoidance:
Regulating the Emotional Distance (Part 2)
Face it. We all long for love yet push it away at times. This is the human condition. So how can you learn about this part of you? . . .
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- July 29, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Families Group Therapy Love Avoidance Twelve Steps
Love Avoidance:
Regulating the Emotional Distance (Part 1)
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ― Rumi
All of us come into the world defenseless and vulnerable, and in the best of circumstances, we have a good enough parent, . . .
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- July 15, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Families Group Therapy Love Avoidance Twelve Steps
Cultivating Contentment (Part 1)
I think I’ve always struggled with happiness although I do have some fond memories with neighborhood friends when I was a kid. On the inside of my home I saw a lot of suffering that showed up as competition, criticism and envy, just to name a few painful ingredients. My childhood was not a happy time of my life, but somehow I managed to shut the door to my bedroom and create a mini-sanctuary equipped with . . .
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- May 8, 2020
- Emotions Families Happiness Psychology
The Rhythm Within (Part 2)
When it comes to slowing down and listening more intently to the rhythm within, there is no one formula. It will take some trial and error to see what works best for you. Here are some possibilities you may consider: . . .
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- April 24, 2020
- Emotions Families Sexual Sobriety Survival Twelve Steps
The Rhythm Within (Part 1)
Having grown up in the 70s in a turbulent family, I found creative ways to cope with the chaos of our home. First of all, I worked really hard to make good friends. As a matter of fact, I was adopted by at least four families before the age of 12. I also tried to be as busy as possible and do all of my homework and my chores. Except for stopping long enough to watch the innovative sitcoms of the 70s such as All in the Family, M.A.S.H. and the Mary Tyler Moore Show, I was always on the go. Doing, achieving and perfecting became my survival strategies to avoid the sadness, hurt and anger within me. If I did enough, achieved enough and perfected enough, somehow . . .
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- April 10, 2020
- Emotions Families Sexual Sobriety Survival Twelve Steps
The Other Side of Narcissism (Part 1)
Narcissism is generally seen as a negative trait, but in this article we will explore the positive side of it. When babies are born, they imagine that the world revolves around them, and if they have an immediate need (e.g. food, touch, change of diaper), they believe that someone will take care of their needs quickly. Unfortunately, the fantasy that your parent (or caregiver) will respond to you in just the right way, at just the right time, at just the right temperature, sets you up . . .
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- March 13, 2020
- Abuse Emotions Narcissism Psychology Relationships
Turning Down the Volume on Shame:
An Action Plan (Part 2)
Welcome back to our exploration of shame. Now that we’ve started to identify and name it, how do you build shame resiliency? Action Step #1: Distinguish between healthier shame and toxic shame. Remember that healthier shame lets you know if you’ve crossed boundaries or done something that is not in your integrity.
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- February 25, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Emotions Group Therapy Shame
Turning Down the Volume on Shame:
An Action Plan (Part 1)
Shame is epidemic, but that’s not always a bad thing. Shame is one of your primary emotions and part of the human condition, but it can be paralyzing and profoundly isolating if not explored and processed. It often shows up in the self-attacking language you sometimes use against yourself such as . . .
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- February 11, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Emotions Group Therapy Shame
Emotional Sobriety: An Action Plan (Part 1)
This year I’ve decided to infuse my blog posts with more user-friendly tools, strategies and action steps. This month I’ll be revisiting the theme of Emotional Sobriety and introducing specific ways you can create a practice around it. Emotional Sobriety can only take shape once you are sexually sober. But let’s open the aperture even further. Most people who are healing . . .
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- January 8, 2020
- Emotional Sobriety Harm Reduction Sexual Sobriety Trauma