A colleague once asked me when I first knew I wanted to be a therapist. I answered “in utero”—half joking but actually quite serious. You see—I grew up in a good family with a lot of problems. We tried to love one another but had no clue how to really love one another. From a very young age I assumed the role of mediator and surrogate parent, and without fully understanding it at the time, my calling as a psychotherapist was handed to me at birth. Back in the 70s and 80s . . .
Continue reading...Andrew Susskind
Sex Addiction vs. Compulsive Sex:
The Controversy Continues
A few years ago the World Health Organization recognized and included Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10). This is the first time in the history of this organization that CSBD has been validated by a global gathering of clinicians. For many years Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) have lobbied to include sex addiction as a formal diagnosis . . .
Continue reading...Fantasy as a Survival Strategy (Part 2)
Don’t pathologize fantasy. Be curious, non-judgmental and open-hearted. Allow fantasy to be a teacher and simply a part of who you are. Give yourself the opportunity to consider fantasy . . .
Continue reading...Fantasy as a Survival Strategy (Part 1)
Fantasy is defined as imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained (www.dictionary.com), and it can also be a liberating exploration of your wants and desires, both sexual or romantic. Is it possible that fantasy gets a bad rap? Can your imagination, even if extravagant or unrestrained be useful and safe? The answer is . . .
Continue reading...From Brokenheartedness to Self-Compassion (Part 2)
Now that you’ve identified the necessity for Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) in your recovery, how do you integrate these ideas . . .
Continue reading...From Brokenheartedness to Self-Compassion (Part 1)
Brokenheartedness is often the cause, and compulsive sexual behavior is one of the effects. Of course there is much more nuance to this equation; however, healing the heartbreak requires self-compassion to ease the shame, hurt, self-loathing . . .
Continue reading...Healing Hurt from the Inside Out (Part 2)
Now that you are developing a fresh, new perspective to metabolize hurt, here are some specific action steps to apply to your repertoire of possibilities . . .
Continue reading...Healing Hurt from the Inside Out (Part 1)
Hurt is a designer emotion. It’s the hub of the wheel surrounded by anger, sadness, disappointment, disillusionment and shame. When you feel deeply hurt, it leaves you with an emotional wound that requires close attention. Putting a band-aid on it won’t heal it. You need to keep it clean, change the emotional dressing daily and give it oxygen until the healing process unfolds. Sometimes hurt doesn’t go away entirely, but instead, it offers perspective and less acute pain eventually. But what does hurt have . . .
Continue reading...The Road to Resilience (Part 2)
We all face adversity and we all build resilience. These practices, tools and strategies give you the opportunity for nervous system regulation, resilience and overall resourcefulness. As a result, you will feel more buoyant . . .
Continue reading...The Road to Resilience (Part 1)
I’ve always liked the word resilience. Maybe it’s how the word sounds or maybe it’s what it means to me, but it’s always held significance in my life. I believe that resilience can be a superpower that shows up after life’s challenges are thrown in your way—sometimes . . .
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